Dude, we should totally order a pizza and watch writers flip out. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As promised, part two of my Survival Guide to NaNoWriMo. Part One, for Participants, is over here. This time, pull up a sideline chair and get the popcorn. Here’s how to make it through the month when it seems like everyone around you is obsessed with plot bunnies and word counts.
1) Breathe. Don’t get caught up in the hype/panic. That shit is contagious. Hang around enough stressed out people and you’ll feel stressed even if you’re not doing anything. Avoid this bullshit—since stress is probably half the goddamn reason you’re not doing NaNo to begin with—and remember to take a deep breath. Or get a drink. Both help.
2) Do Other Shit. Not doing NaNo? This looks like a great time to reorganize your office. Or get a head start on your holiday shopping. Or finally make some headway on the ninja-training-for-dogs program. Bonus points: you get to brag about the stuff you’re getting done to your word-count-obsessed friends.
3) But Don’t Neglect Your Writing. You don’t have to write a novel, but that doesn’t mean you get a free pass. My favourite: using November to really nail down the outline for my next big project. Or catching up on my submissions. Continue to work on something, just to keep your hand in. Besides, it builds good habits for when the Great Time Suck, also known as the holiday season, strikes.
4) Enjoy the Show. Make some popcorn and crack open a cold one, because shit is about to go down. The autumn-chilled streets will be filled with wandering packs of word-herders, all looking for inspiration and extra words and ninja plot spackle techniques. Avoid the mobs, but enjoy the spectacle of creative madness. For extra rubber-necking points, go to the NaNo forums and eavesdrop on the freak outs.* You can even help with some, if you’ve done NaNo in the past and have the benefit of wisdom and experience. Or at least what passes for them on the internet.
5) Be Kind. Your friends are not themselves right now. It’s their Time Of The Month, if you take my meaning. They will return to the fun-loving rock-and-rollers you know and love soon, but until then, remember that they’re bat shit crazy and should only be approached with caution. And a stick. Don’t forget your Writer Poking Stick.
If you have forgotten your stick, then remember to be kind. They’re stressed and deep in the horrifying child birthing process that is required to bring a story into this world, screaming and covered in goo. Cut them a little fucking slack.
And pray for December.
*This may strike some people as voyeuristic. Sure it is. But if you don’t want to get gawked at, have your freak out somewhere that’s not a public forum.
Bare Knuckle Writer 
I like your point on breathing myself. What would things be like if we didn’t take a moment to breathe! Have a wonderful and healthy day and thanks for sharing.
We must not neglect the writing. In doing NaNo I would argue that one should still not neglect the writing. We spend an entire month just trying to pound out 50,000 words of a single novel. We neglect our other writing. The writing that helps us express ourselves in much needed ways. So I find this to be very good advice, whether doing NaNo or not.
Wonderful post.
A valid point. Even at my most obsessive, I usually have other things to work on when the Big Project needs some time to settle. At the very least, I have this blog.
Indeed. In the middle of doing NaNo this year at least three more projects have presented themselves, and yes of course my blog still needs love too.
Great point. I’m doing NaNo, and I’ve felt a little silly spending some of my word count on blogging, writing short stories, and writing philosophy papers, but I think its really helped keep me feeling normal and productive. And it’s made my novel writing feel better as well!
The point of NaNo, at least as far as I’m concerned, is to do it in a way that works for you. If that’s project monogamy, so be it. If it’s not, it’s not.
Oh, I’m still doing NaNo correctly, only counting the words I write in my novel toward my word count, but yeah – I can’t work on just one thing at a time, or else I start to resent the project.
Thank you for the kind reply. I think it’s important to not let life suffer in general. I go about my normal day and I set aside the same time for writing. I just use that time more judiciously to focus on completing the novel. I don’t think I’ll hit 50,000, but like I said before, it’s the writing everyday part that makes me happy. Good luck with your NaNo novel.
Thank you! Good luck to you as well!
For the Writer Poking Stick I would recommend an electric cattle prod. Shock them right out of their hysteria. I know it sounds cruel, but it’s for their own good. ;D
I like how you think.
If i have forgotten my stick… what constitutes as being kind? any tips…… 🙂
Bringing coffee, neglecting to ask when they last showered, and under no circumstances mentioning ‘word count’ or ‘outline’. It’s a fifty-fifty shot of being bludgeoned with a keyboard at that last one.
haha definitely!! I’ll you keep you posted on any ridiculously bad outcomes, if i can…….
You might escape if you throw down espresso and run.
its a plan haha!!!
Reblogged this on Swirls of Truth and commented:
Soo true… Heartfelt buddies here.
this was very boring
Thanks! I needed this. As a (mostly) nonfiction writer, I always feel slightly inferior during November when my fiction friends (no, not fictional as in imaginary, fiction-writer friends) disappear. I’ll ask things like, “Do you think memoir counts?” and they’ll say, “Sure, writer anything, just write.” But they don’t mean it. They are too busy becoming novelists to talk to the likes of me.
You know why? Plot, that’s why. They have plot; I just have narrative arc. Big diff.
So – I just have to tell you that while nosing around on your blog, I found your magic question to get plot moving when it’s stuck. Brilliant! I think I’m going to start writing fiction. In fact, I did just write a short fiction piece for my blog this week. But only because I was avoiding working on my master’s thesis in Nonfiction Writing.
Anyway, thanks for the advice, and also for the “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” question. Congrats on the FP!
Hey, if memoir floats your boat, then don’t let anyone else sink it. I love non-fiction as much as I love fiction, and have written both.
Also: good luck with the thesis. I know from experience how time-consuming they are, so if you ever decide to do NaNo, you’ll be well-prepared. 😉
Reblogged this on Livin the Life and commented:
Such great advice!
Popcorn and a cold beer? I’m down with it! Nice site!
Mr.MakingUsmile
Reblogged this on jbiggarblog.
Trying to finish up my Master’s Thesis, and the hardest part is not writing enough, but cutting out huge chunks of my writing to make the thesis more compact. Feels like I’m removing limbs off my own body. LoL
Those are limbs you don’t need, bucko, like mutant tentacles. Though you may like tentacles. Not judging.
Nice one
That was funny. Thanks. I’m trying to get a Western out for Christmas and it’s tricky. I can see why everything that comes out right before xmas has problems because it’s quite a crunch to get it done in time. (video games and systems, for example) And I don’t even know where I’ll get the money to publish the book. Probably have to take it out of my”pickup truck fund” which has been shrinking ever since it started. Lol.
You had me at “Western”. Along with sci-fi, one of the pillars of my childhood.
So freaking funny. 😀
Fun article. I avoid nano at all costs. I never felt the need to push myself like that, and never had a problem getting words down.
Yeah, it’s never been a terrible problem for me to get the words out, either. But I sometimes like NaNo because of the camaraderie. And the excuse to overindulge in caffeine, of course.
like your views..
Love this post! Great outlook on the NaNo blogging going on, haha!
I found this funny and insightful. As a novelist myself, I prefer to write my books at a slow but steady pace. Typically, this takes me five to six months, so while I commend those who participate in NaNo, I choose to sit it out. I have heard some very good novels got their start during NaNo, specifically, Water for Elephants. Can anyone confirm that?
I can: here. Listed with several other books.
I also enjoyed Water For Elephants, despite it not being my usual type of read.
Six months for a novel? Impressive! I’ve never written a novel, but I’m still impressed. What do you call a book full of stories?
Usually just that: a book of stories.
Haha. Thought it had a fancy name. I was going to put together my stories from http://www.joshwestcott.com one day and publish a fancy book
#notsofancy
Reblogged this on Corrugated and folding carton box templates.
Hah, this is awesome. Especially since I somehow got sucked into the panic (my INBOX IS RIDICULOUSLY FULL!) – but you’re right. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life. Great post.
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thnx..
It’s easy: all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy…
I try to write a short story at the same time my students do, using personification and turkeys.
Please tell me turkeys is a new literary technique.
This is really freaking hilarious! Thanks for the tips. I’ve never done NaNo even though I’ve been writing for years. This is really the first year that I’ve really noticed how many people do it.
Yeah, they’re everywhere, like the zombie apocalypse. Hence the survival guide.
I was not aware that you could count words from other projects toward NaNoWriMo.
Officially, no, but there are people who do NaNo in another way. I know some who have written a series of short stories, others who have done it for non-fiction. And then there’s the young writers who do smaller work counts. I think (though I’d have to check) that some of these variants have their own forums on the NaNo website.
Thank you I will keep that in mind for next time. I’ll probably do my own NaNo during a different month since I always seem to have to many competing obligations that time of year. In fact I think I might try to knock out something in the next four weeks.
I can’t stop laughing long enough to make an intelligent comment hahahahahahahah
That was my plan: reduce everyone to incoherence and then profit from the resulting confusion. Somehow. Not sure how, haven’t worked out that bit yet.
I’m duly confused :p
Success!
I’m looking forward to the follow-up to straighten us all back out 😉
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Reblogged this on A Manic-Depressive View and commented:
good stuff
No 1, No 1, No1! Thank you for making me feel like less of a waste of space during NaNoWriMo. Although, as I am going to be starting my “career training,” volunteer work, AND still being full time SuperMom, I guess I should cut myself a LITTLE slack!
All about balance, love. And, you know, watching some quality meltdowns on the internet.
I just started blogging (like today) and think I may attempt the nomo thing next year. I figure that way I can get almost a year under my belt and maybe it wont appear quite so intimitating (prob will but I’ll give it a shot anyway lol)
Love the view you took!
Reblogged this on cscjacksonfoto and commented:
But then I guess there are plenty of things to write about if you look in other people’s rubbish. Take that plastic beer can for instance!!
Thank you. NaNo gives me anxiety.
I tried NANOWRIMO last year I did great. For the first five days of the month I spit out 1000 words a day for a novel, then nothing since.
I think we should live every month as if its NaNoWriMo. Why do it only once a year and then make a big stink out of it? I’m sure this is how compulsive gift-givers feel every time December 25th comes around.
I write a lot daily and did before NaNo, but I think some people find NaNo an easy way to test the waters as a daily writer. Gives them a structure they can relate to, as well as the prod of the word count update. Like gaming, maybe?
Personally, I found it good to have other writers to talk to who knew what the hell I was bitching about. And it introduced me to my writing group of the last six years.
I am not doing NaNo. After years of registering and bailing out, I admitted without shame that I do not work that way. I finished drafting a short story for an anthology and began another story. I don’t feel guilty. I feel free. I’m having fun. So there.
Thank you for a life-affirming post. 🙂
Amen!
I’m avoiding NaNo like the plague. I started a new blog instead. Love your cats cartoon, btw.
Being kind is so important we get in such a hurry sometimes we forget to be kind
Agreed. Especially at this time of year.
this is very true. I worked with the homeless and mentally ill for many years and it seems the stigma that follows these two groups is a disaster. Not everyone asking for money on the corner is a scammer my guys had serious mental health issues and you could not tell by looking at them. I does not hurt to just say hello you may be the only person that said anything nice to the person in days. Contrary to beliefs of the common population these are good people that I would not only protect as I would anyone else but I also believe they would protect me after all they are human beings not animals. Be kind to everyone unless they give you a reason not to.
Good stuff! Plagues are a no-no!
I admit I regularly ignore NaNo completely. My writing process is very stubbornly my own.
Reblogged this on Robby's Games.
Funny… Love the cartoon
My other half does not comprehend how hard it is when you set yourself a challenge.
thank you for making my day.
because that was the point I’m trying to deliver to humans around me and when i don’t get anywhere i just stop and take some me time.
OH my god, thank you for relieving my guilt and feelings of inadequacy!
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), I started blogging about two weeks ago, so I automatically became part of the spectator camp upon entry. As your list pretty much sums up what I’m doing anyway, I can verify that it is entirely accurate. Good advice!
There you have it, folks: independent confirmation. *slides unmarked twenties under the table*
Love your post!!! ;0)
This is very true. I started Nanowrimo this year as a jump start to get me writing again (I’ve neglected writing for a long time!) but aside from that, I’m just not a “get it done as fast as possible” person. I like to take my time. I also have a shittonne of other stuff I need/want to do…. like poetry, illustration, photography, youth work, volunteering, uni, work, friends, family, partner…. So, writing 50,000 in a month is just a no no. Thanks for this!
Reblogged this on Ruined for Life: Phoenix Edition and commented:
While I did Script Frenzy and succeeded a few times, writing an entire novel in one of the shortest months of the year is sheer madness. Yeah, a few get published but so many can’t be good. I think it’s gotten to be a money maker for the founders and a form of self-inflicted torture for the writers.
Count me out.
Reblogged this on Skyrim and commented:
This is the Testimony!!!
Reblogged this on gustyadek.
I hear you on the writing and how it makes you feel. My dam has burst and I am doing poetry to short stories. Love your style.
I stress way too much by putting deadlines for myself with my series. Between the holidays and that NaNo would make me homicidal
Reblogged this on J.S. Riddle and commented:
Good tips for my side of the coin
Great site – humourous, gritty , and wild, wild. I love this breath of fresh literary air. Thanks for the visit and follow.
Reblogged this on Lisa Lanser-Rose and commented:
For my fellow Nanowrimo drop-outs.
Reblogged this on toxicmascara.